Healing & Starting Over
A Book for Adults and Kids Learning to Start Again
A book for adults and kids learning to start again can support careful shared reading after family change, disappointment, or a difficult season.
A book for adults and kids learning to start again can create shared language when direct conversation feels too exposed. After family change, friendship change, disappointment, a move, a mistake, or a difficult season, a story gives everyone a character and an object to discuss. The goal is not to make a child reveal feelings on demand. It is to leave a safe door open.
*Mr. J and the Tower That Fell* is written by Dave Joisil, known as Mr. J, and illustrated by Hafsa Asad. Amazon lists a reading age of 4–8, and the story can support K–5 discussion with adult guidance. Its themes include resilience, emotions, personal growth, accountability, disappointment, emotional regulation, responsibility, and rebuilding.
Illustration by Hafsa Asad: creativity helping a child give shape to difficult feelings
Why This Is a Book for Adults and Kids Learning to Start Again
Mr. J and his best friend build a tower. She carries most blocks while he keeps telling himself he will help tomorrow. She says she cannot do it alone and leaves; the tower falls. Mr. J feels hurt and stuck. He works with clay before he can face rebuilding, then eventually picks up one block and another.
The story does not require a child to understand an adult relationship. Carrying, waiting, falling, shaping clay, telling the truth, crying, and rebuilding are concrete actions. Adults can also recognize questions about shared effort and regret. That dual layer supports conversation without turning the book into a disguised interrogation.
Prepare Before Shared Reading
Read the book yourself first. Notice scenes that might connect to the child's experience and decide which topics should remain adult-only. If a family change involves legal conflict, safety issues, financial strain, or intimate relationship details, children do not need those facts in order to talk about feelings and routine.
Choose a low-pressure time rather than reading immediately after an argument. Make room for the child to stop, move, look only at pictures, or return later. If more individualized support is needed, consult an appropriate professional rather than asking a story to do every kind of emotional work.
Ask Questions About the Character First
Begin at a safe distance. “What do you notice about the blocks?” “When do you think Mr. J knows there is a problem?” “Why might clay feel easier than the tower?” “What do you think the shopkeeper's gentleness makes possible?” Avoid questions with a preferred emotional answer.
Then offer choice: “Does any part remind you of starting again, or would you rather keep talking about Mr. J?” A child who says no has still participated. Silence, humor, page-turning, and changing the subject can all communicate a need for less pressure.
Keep Adult Disclosure Inside Adult Boundaries
An adult can model emotional language: “I feel disappointed about our change, and my small block is making dinner and keeping tonight's routine.” That is different from explaining private betrayal, asking whether the child agrees with one adult, or relying on the child for comfort.
Use three filters before sharing: Is this information needed for the child's daily life or safety? Is it appropriate for the child's development? Can I share it without making the child responsible for my feelings? If not, take that material to another adult or a qualified professional. The essay on what children's stories teach adults about resilience offers more on dual-audience reading.
Try a Family One-Block Practice
The closing activity asks readers to name a feeling, take a deep breath, and begin again with one small block. Make the practice optional and let adults go first. A grown-up might say, “I feel scattered. My block is putting tomorrow's bags by the door.” A child might say, “I feel mad. My block is asking for five quiet minutes.”
Blocks can support the shared home: set the table, choose tomorrow's clothes, put one toy away, write a note, or ask for help. Do not use the activity to make a child repair adult conflict. Their block should be manageable, safe, and connected to their own life.
Illustration by Hafsa Asad: someone carrying the lessons of healing forward
Use the Scenes for Different K–5 Conversations
Younger children may focus on naming feelings, taking a breath, and physically placing one toy block. Older elementary students can discuss delayed contribution: What happens when one teammate carries most of a project? How can someone be sad and still responsible for a choice? What might an honest repair look like?
The clay pause can open a conversation about coping tools, while the lost coins and gentle shopkeeper can introduce truth-telling when something goes wrong. Mr. J's tears give adults an opportunity to show that crying and action can coexist. Educators interested in broader programming can explore school assemblies or contact Mr. J.
Revisit Without Forcing Closure
A family may return to the book weeks later and notice a different scene. That is useful. Healing does not require one definitive talk. Keep familiar routines where possible, communicate practical changes clearly, and let questions recur. Healing does not follow a deadline, and neither does a child's understanding of change.
The story offers hope without promising restoration of exactly what existed before. Mr. J moves a half-built tower, loses coins, tells the shopkeeper the truth, cries, and keeps building one block at a time. Starting again means continuing with honesty, not pretending nothing fell. More format and ordering information is available on the book page.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is this book only for children after divorce?
No. It can support discussion after disappointment, friendship change, mistakes, family transitions, or another hard season.
What if my child does not want to talk?
Respect that choice. Read for connection, keep the invitation open, and seek appropriate guidance if you have specific concerns.
Can this book be used with older elementary students?
Yes, with adult guidance. Older students can examine accountability, shared work, coping choices, honesty, and rebuilding in greater depth.
Bring *Mr. J and the Tower That Fell* Home
This book fits families seeking an age-respectful shared language for change, disappointment, honest feelings, and beginning again together.
Order *Mr. J and the Tower That Fell* on Amazon or visit the official book page to learn more about the story, classroom use, bulk school orders, and author visits.
Dave Joisil—known as Mr. J—is a certified Health and Physical Education teacher and an independent Black male children's author. Supporting his independently published work helps make room for more educator-created stories and Black male representation in children's books.