Healing & Starting Over
Emotional Healing One Small Step at a Time
Practice emotional healing one small step at a time with a concrete menu for care, connection, truth, creativity, order, and professional support.
Emotional healing one small step at a time is not a command to turn every feeling into a task. It is a way to recover choice when the whole future feels too large. In *Mr. J and the Tower That Fell*, the closing activity asks children to name a feeling, take a deep breath, and start again with one small block. Adults can use the same sequence while choosing blocks suited to adult responsibilities.
Small actions are not treatment, and this article is not clinical advice. Strong or persistent distress, trouble functioning, or concerns about safety deserve support from a licensed professional or an appropriate crisis resource. Asking for that support can itself be the next block. The menu below is for ordinary structure and reflection, not a substitute for care.
Illustration by Hafsa Asad: gentle support grounded in emotional honesty
Emotional Healing One Small Step at a Time Begins With a Pause
Say the sequence aloud: “I feel ___. I will take one slow breath. My small block is ___.” Naming can be broad—sad, angry, numb, restless, relieved, or unsure. You do not have to identify the perfect word. The breath is not meant to eliminate the feeling; it creates a brief transition before action.
Choose only one category from the following menu. If an option is too large, shrink it until it is clear and possible. Success means taking the chosen step, not feeling different immediately afterward.
Care Blocks for the Body
Heartbreak can disrupt ordinary care. Pick one action: drink a glass of water, eat something nourishing, shower, take prescribed medication as directed, step outside, stretch gently, or prepare the place where you will sleep. Avoid converting the block into an extreme makeover.
Dave Joisil is a certified Health and Physical Education teacher, and the Hey! It's Mr. J approach gives children actions they can practice through music, movement, mindfulness, and emotional regulation. For adults, movement can be a walk, one song of easy motion, or a few comfortable stretches. It should match your ability and circumstances. The point here is reconnection, not punishment or performance.
Truth and Order Blocks
A truth block might be writing one factual sentence about what ended, acknowledging one responsibility, or telling a trusted person, “Today is difficult.” An order block might be paying one bill, answering one essential message, sorting one small pile, or adding an appointment to the calendar.
In the story, Mr. J tells himself he will help tomorrow while his friend carries most blocks. Later he tells a gentle shopkeeper the truth about his lost coins and finally cries. Honest words interrupt repeated postponement. If responsibility feels tangled with total blame, read accountability after a relationship ends.
Connection and Boundary Blocks
Connection can mean texting, “Do you have ten minutes to listen?” accepting a meal, attending a group, or sitting in a shared public space. Make the request specific so the other person knows what support would help. You may want listening rather than advice.
A boundary is also a relational action. Mute an account for the afternoon, decline a conversation you cannot have safely, or decide that updates will happen by email. A boundary should describe what you will do rather than trying to control another adult. For promises and boundaries that strengthen judgment, see rebuilding self-trust after a breakup.
Illustration by Hafsa Asad: creativity helping a child give shape to difficult feelings
Creative and Meaning Blocks
Mr. J works with clay while he cannot face the tower. Your creative block could be shaping clay, freewriting for five minutes, humming into a voice memo, sketching a symbol, moving to one song, or arranging photographs without sharing them. Creative practice can hold a feeling; it does not have to explain or cure it.
A meaning block could involve prayer, meditation, nature, learning, volunteering, or reading something that returns you to your values. Keep service proportionate to your capacity. You do not need to rescue others to prove that your pain has purpose. Using creativity to process heartbreak gives prompts and safeguards.
Build an Energy-Matched Menu
Prepare three options before a hard moment. For a low-energy day: drink water, open the curtains, text one safe person. For a medium-energy day: cook something simple, walk, handle one errand. For a higher-energy day: attend a class, work on a project, or reorganize a room. Higher energy is not morally better; it simply allows a different block.
Review at day's end with two questions: Did the block support me or a real responsibility? Should tomorrow's block be repeated, changed, or smaller? Do not add a grade. The book page explains how the one-block practice appears in *Mr. J and the Tower That Fell*.
Frequently Asked Questions
What if one small step feels pointless?
Choose a step tied to basic care, responsibility, or connection. Its value is in supporting the next hour, not solving the whole loss.
Can asking for help count as the block?
Yes. Contacting a trusted person, clinician, support service, or crisis resource can be the most responsible action.
Should I do a block every day?
Use the practice flexibly. Rest can be intentional, and difficult days do not erase earlier actions.
Bring *Mr. J and the Tower That Fell* Home
This book fits readers who benefit from a simple emotional reset and a flexible menu of next steps that never demands instant recovery.
Order *Mr. J and the Tower That Fell* on Amazon or visit the official book page to learn more about the story, classroom use, bulk school orders, and author visits.
Dave Joisil—known as Mr. J—is a certified Health and Physical Education teacher and an independent Black male children's author. Supporting his independently published work helps make room for more educator-created stories and Black male representation in children's books.