Teaching & SEL
An SEL Read-Aloud About Starting Over After Things Fall Apart
Use this SEL read-aloud about starting over with a ready before, during, and after plan for feelings, breathing, accountability, and action.
An SEL read-aloud about starting over works best when students do more than listen for a lesson. They should predict, notice body and emotion clues, consider responsibility, and rehearse one small action. This ready-to-use plan pairs those goals with *Mr. J and the Tower That Fell* by Dave Joisil, illustrated by Hafsa Asad.
The plan takes about 25–35 minutes and can be shortened by choosing fewer discussion stops. It is suitable for early elementary learners, with adaptations for older students. The purpose is not to make every child disclose a difficult event. It is to build shared language children can use when classroom plans, friendships, or efforts do not go as expected.
Illustration by Hafsa Asad: the block tower tumbling during a difficult learning moment
Before the SEL Read-Aloud About Starting Over
State the goal plainly: “Today we will notice what a character feels, what he is responsible for, and how he chooses a next step.” Show a single block. Ask, “What can one block do? What becomes possible with many blocks?” Accept literal and imaginative answers without revealing the plot.
Establish two participation choices: students may speak, gesture, draw, or pass. Then practice a neutral breath together. Invite children to inhale comfortably and exhale slowly; do not insist on a particular count or deep breathing if it feels uncomfortable. They can instead press their feet gently into the floor and look at a steady object.
Preview three words:
- Setback: something that interrupts a plan or makes a goal harder.
- Accountability: recognizing your part and choosing a responsible action.
- Regulate: helping your body and attention become ready for a safe next choice.
Ask a low-stakes prediction: “What might make a tower fall in a story?” Keep responses focused on imagined possibilities rather than personal loss.
During Reading: Pause With Purpose
Pause first when it becomes clear that Mr. J’s best friend is carrying most of the blocks while he plans to help tomorrow. Ask, “What is the difference between intending to help and helping?” Follow with, “What could Mr. J do now?” This makes accountability visible before the larger consequence.
Pause when his friend says she cannot do it alone and leaves. Ask students to silently show with a thumb near the chest whether the moment feels expected, surprising, or somewhere between. Then ask, “What feelings might each character have? Can two feelings be true at once?” Do not frame the friend’s boundary as punishment; she communicates what she cannot continue doing.
When the tower falls and Mr. J feels stuck, resist immediately cheering him toward rebuilding. Ask, “What might his body need before he can decide?” When he works with clay because he cannot face the tower, students can consider the difference between a helpful pause and avoiding forever. Both ideas can coexist.
Later, Mr. J moves the half-built tower and loses coins on the way to a toy shop. A gentle shopkeeper gives him room to tell the truth and finally cry. Ask, “What changed when he said what happened?” Keep the focus on honesty and emotional release, not on promising that crying instantly solves a problem.
At the moment he picks up one block and then another, ask students to whisper or think: “What is one safe next action?” This anchors the story’s central strategy without reducing the emotional journey to a slogan.
After Reading: Four-Part Conversation
Draw four simple columns labeled Feel, Breathe/Pause, Own, Begin. Work through the sequence as a class:
- Feel: Name emotions Mr. J might experience at different points. Ask what story evidence supports each idea.
- Breathe/Pause: Identify moments when slowing down could help. Include alternatives such as getting water, movement, quiet, or asking an adult for support.
- Own: Describe Mr. J’s part accurately: he did not help enough and kept delaying. Avoid global labels like lazy or bad.
- Begin: List actions smaller than “fix everything,” such as telling the truth, picking up one block, or asking what repair is possible.
Explain that the order is flexible. Sometimes accountability comes before calm; sometimes a person needs safety and support before talking. The model is a tool, not a test.
The One-Small-Block Practice
Give pairs five to ten blocks. Present a fictional scenario: “A student put off their part of a group display. The group is frustrated, and the deadline is close.” Partners build four short rows representing feeling, pause, responsibility, and action. For each block, they name a possible thought or choice.
Invite groups to compare plans. One may begin with an apology; another may ask which task is most urgent. Discuss which responses include changed action rather than words alone. If blocks are unavailable, students can draw stacked rectangles or tap four fingers.
For a deeper accountability conversation, continue with teaching kids accountability after mistakes. For additional book-selection criteria, see children's books about resilience and starting over.
Illustration by Hafsa Asad: coins spilling at a toy shop after a mistake
Close and Follow Up
Use the book’s closing activity without requiring a personal story: ask children to name a feeling from a provided list, take one comfortable breath, and identify one small block that could begin an imagined task again. End with: “Starting small does not erase what happened. It helps us choose what we do next.”
During the next week, use “next block” as a private prompt, not a public judgment. A student might point to a visual of a block, choose from action cards, or tell you a plan. Reinforce specificity: “You noticed frustration, asked for a pause, and returned to the first step.” The book page includes details about *Mr. J and the Tower That Fell*, editions, and ways to bring the story into a school community.
Frequently Asked Questions
How many times should I pause?
Three to five purposeful pauses are usually enough. Too many questions can turn a story into a quiz and weaken students’ emotional connection to it.
What if breathing does not help a student?
Offer choices such as grounding through feet, quiet drawing, a drink of water, or support from a trusted adult. No single regulation strategy fits everyone.
Do students need blocks?
No. Folded paper squares, fingers, classroom objects, or drawn rectangles can represent small steps just as effectively.
Bring *Mr. J and the Tower That Fell* Home
This book fits educators who want a complete read-aloud arc in which feelings, truthful accountability, and a manageable next action belong together.
Order *Mr. J and the Tower That Fell* on Amazon or visit the official book page to learn more about the story, classroom use, bulk school orders, and author visits.
Dave Joisil—known as Mr. J—is a certified Health and Physical Education teacher and an independent Black male children's author. Supporting his independently published work helps make room for more educator-created stories and Black male representation in children's books.